Tag: Love

New Year’s Resolutions

What is a New Year’s resolution? Is it a goal to eat healthier, keep the house cleaner, spend more time with family?

Oxford Dictionary defines New Year’s resolutions as “a firm decision made on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day to do or refrain from doing something over the course of the coming year.”

But I think it’s more than that. It may sound cheesy, but I’ve never made a new years resolution unless it’s really going to mean something, possibly even change my life or give me an amazing experience I would have missed out on otherwise.

For the first time in years, I’ve made a resolution for 2020. My blog, my readers, and my friends & family have inspired me to write a book – a memoir of sorts. Something to raise awareness for something I’ve always believed is worth fighting for… Mental health.

The new year doesn’t mean anything to a lot of people, maybe just a chance to party. But for some, it’s a chance for change. A chance to start over. A chance to either put a crappy year behind them, or celebrate the amazing accomplishments from that year.

My health struggled to the point where I had to resign from a job and company I love this year. That wasn’t so good. But I still feel the need to celebrate this year. For the chance for change and growth. If I still worked in that job, I probably wouldn’t have the goal to write a book next year. I probably wouldn’t have found my passion for writing and sharing peices of myself in the hopes of helping others. I found my true passion this year, and I found hope and strength. To me, that is most definately worth celebrating.

So what did 2019 bring you? Even if it felt like a horrible year, think about the positives, think about what you gained, and spend your New Year’s eve putting the bad behind you, to wake up fresh and ready for change on New Year’s day.

Maybe it’s just like any other day. But you can choose to let it be a symbol, to be a trigger for change.

I have a goal that I’m going to make happen in 2020 – what about you?

Puppy Love

This one hurts to write. As I sit here in the sunny (vaguely windy) Fiji, I find my mind constantly wandering back to this one consuming thought… When we return home, our beloved Husky will have to be put to rest.

On our first day in Fiji we learnt that she had a malignant tumor growing, the kind that even treatment can’t help. She’s only 6 years old.

This breaks my heart for many reasons. The main one being that I have never met such a beautiful soul before. She found a place in my heart the moment I met her. But also for another reason… She has been my constant comfort and companion through all my battles with my health.

So many Saturday night’s in I’ve spent with her snuggled up to me, because I’m simply too unwell to go anywhere. I’d feel lonely and guilty for not being able to go out with my friends or boyfriend – not being able to party like I used to love. But there was one comfort… I wasn’t alone, not while I had her asleep beside me.

The sad fact is, loneliness is a huge factor in illness – mental and physical illness alike. It’s a very personal battle that no one else can relate to, because all our battles are different. But I always found one light in that darkness, and that was Tikaani. When I was sick or in pain (which, let’s face it, is daily) she was there right by my side. I know some people don’t think dogs can sense those things, but she sure could.

I vividly remember her walking slowly and gently beside me as I trudged up the stairs after an Endometriosis surgery, and how she carefully laid down next to me on the bed, careful not to touch me. Or when muscle aches in my legs were so bad one night that I couldn’t lay still, she laid on my legs which miraculously helped the pain and I fell back asleep shortly after. That one moment convinced me to invest in a weighted blanket* which has been amazing in preventing that pain and restlessness getting too bad at night.

What will I do without that? It really is a scary thought. One I’m struggling to think about. The comfort pets can bring people with chronic physical and mental illness has suddenly become very clear to me. Something I didn’t quite appreciate sooner. That loss will be absolutely profound.

Even as I sit here typing this, I still find myself unable to fully comprehend this fact, and I strongly feel for all those who have had to suffer similar situations. I would like to show appreciation for all those beautiful animals that give love and comfort in times of pain and illness, and who never fail to be by our side when needed.

Here’s to Tikaani – the beautiful, kind, and loving soul I was lucky to have in my life for what felt like the briefest of moments ❤

*Note – I strongly recommend weighted blankets for chronic pain and restless leg syndrome, even insomnia. Happy to recommend a certain type or answer any questions. Simply contact me at contactlaura@laurainreallife.blog.

“Chaos cannot claim everything, you know…”

It’s surprisingly VERY rare that I read a line in a book that speaks to me (especially since I mostly read fantasy novels.) But I finally found one!

“Chaos cannot claim everything, you know – there are always objects and points of stability in the worst of it.”

I think this is an important one to note. Not just for those who suffer from chronic illness, but for everyone. We all have chaos causing havoc in our lives – we all struggle from time to time. But there’s always that point of stability in the worst of it, if you just look in the right places.

My points of stability aren’t hard to find. They’re in my life every single day. Making me smile even when I don’t feel like it, making me laugh, making everything else feel small in comparison. Making life so beautiful despite all the shit in it, in all of our lives.

Like most people, right from the get go things haven’t always been simple for me. I was born with collapsed lungs, so already not off to a great start! I suffered viral meningitis as a young child, needed my first surgery when I was 4 and my second when I was 9. Things steadied out a bit as a teenager, though I did suffer PTSD and anxiety.

It was turning 19 that really started to cause the most health issues, when I had my first ovarian cyst. It was a huge one, causing endless pain until I finally had surgery. After that, at age 21, I had surgery for appendicitis – it was chronic and came on slow, over 2 months. Don’t let them tell you that isn’t possible! Then came my Endometriosis diagnosis at age 23, A very complex form that has required surgery almost every year since. THEN, in 2018, arrived my mystery illness, still undiagnosed but looking more and more like a mild form of Lupus.

Yes, none of that has been easy. But all of that made me who I am, and taught me one vital lesson… Appreciation. Appreciation for every simple and beautiful moment that brings a smile or a sense of peace and hope. Appreciation for every moment I have with those I love. Appreciation for every time a friend checks up on how I am, or my boyfriend cuddles me until I fall asleep when I’m not feeling well.

Just little things – little things that add up to a very full heart and a life full with joy. My people always have been, and always will be, my points of stability.